How do you communicate with your kid?

Raising Kids With The Wisdom Of God Series.

Message #1

Biblical Communication with our Kids

The following material is a summary on communication from some of the chapters in Tedd Tripp’s excellent book entitled Shepherding a Child’s Heart. We highly recommend it for your reading.

Biblical discipline addresses behavior through addressing the heart. Superficial parenting that never addresses the heart produces superficial children who do not understand what makes them tick. If you address only behavior in your children, you never get to the cross of Christ. It is impossible to get from preoccupation with behavior to the gospel. The gospel is not a message about doing new things. It is a message about being a new creature.

A Biblical approach to children involves two elements that you weave together. One element is rich, full communication. The other is the rod of correction. The use of the rod preserves biblically-rooted parental authority. The emphasis on rich communication prohibits cold, tyrannical discipline.

Communication is Dialogue, Not Monologue

Communication is not the ability to express yourself. Communication is not monologue. It is dialogue. You should seek to talk with your children.

Proverbs 18:2 A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions.

Proverbs 18:13 He who answers before listening–that is his folly and his shame.

The finest art of communication is not learning how to express your thoughts. It is learning how to draw out the thoughts of another. Unfortunately, most children learn that a “good talk” for us is a “good listen” for them.

Focus on Understanding

What is important is understanding the “why” of what has been done or said. You need to understand not just what has happened, but what is going on in your child’s heart.

If you are going to understand and help your child to understand himself, there are skills you must develop. You must learn to help your child express themselves.

Proverbs 20:5 The purposes of a man’s heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out.

Here are some productive questions to help your child get to the “why” of their heart:

1. What were you feeling when you hit your sister?
2. What did your sister do to make you mad?
3. Help me understand how hitting her seemed to make things better.
4. What was the problem with what she was doing to you? (You need not deny the fact your child has been sinned against. Of course, he was sinned against. Let him tell you about it.)
5. In what other ways could you have responded?
6. How do you think your response reflected trust or lack of trust in God’s ability to provide for you?

There are four issues you must walk your child through: 1) the nature of temptation, 2) the possible responses to this temptation, 3) his own sinful responses, 4) the application of God’s grace.

Your child must understand what it means to repent, not just “of all my sins” in some generalized way, but of specific sins. Repentance and faith are not rites of initiation into Christianity. Repentance and faith are the way we and our children relate to God. If we fail to help our children relate to God from their heart through repentance and faith, then we have failed to teach them to relate AT ALL.

Communication in Most Families 

This is the extent of communication that occurs in most families:

1. The parent gives the child the rules.
2. When the child breaks the rules, parent finds out what happened and reannounces the rules.
3. Parent then announces the price the child will pay for breaking the rules.

Rich, Multi-faceted Biblical Communication 

Communication with your child must be diverse and richly textured. Differing conditions in the hearer require differing forms of speaking. Here are some Biblical types of communication with simple definitions:

1. Encouragement
   Communication that is designed to inspire and fill with hope and courage.
2. Correction
   Correction gives your children insight into what is wrong and what may be done to correct the problem.
3. Rebuke
   Communication that sends a sense of alarm,shock and dismay at what your child has done or said
4. Entreaty
   This is a special kind of communication that is reserved for use in cases of great import. Proverbs 23:26 My son, give me your heart... 
5. Instruction
   The process of providing a lesson, a precept, or information that will help your children to understand their world.
6. Warning
   Communication that is the equivalent of posting a sign informing motorists that a bridge is out. A warning is simply a statement that A leads to B. It is acquainting them with the sowing and reaping principle.
7. Teaching
   Teaching is causing someone to know something, imparting knowledge.
8. Listening
   This is a form of communication best accomplished with mouth shut, ears open, and brain disengaged from thinking about what you are going to say next. James 1:19 Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.
9. Prayer
   While prayer is not communication directly with the child, nevertheless, your prayer will communicate your faith in God to your child. Your most penetrating insights into your child will often come as they pray and in the same manner, the parent’s prayer provides insight into their heart.

Application Questions

1. When you find problems at home, do you expect to solve them with a new set of rules and punishments, or with richer forms of communication?
2. Outline how you would talk to your teen who seemed to have stolen money from you but would not admit it.
3. Of the nine types of communication mentioned, at which ones are you most proficient? At which ones are you least proficient?.

 Hope this resource was helpful to you! for more inquiry leave us a comment below.

 God Bless You.

 Christina.

A child’s social and emotional development is as important as their physical development.So as a parent we have to know the factors that affect their social and emotional development and teach them the required skills.

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Today, we will be discussing on :  11 things every parent should tell their child everyday by.

As parents,we are responsible for teaching our children important lessons of life. The child’s mind is like wet clay: whatever he or she hears and sees leaves a lasting impression. They are innocent, sensitive, and need lots of affection! You can place them in your lap and teach them values; try to talk to them instead of instructing them. As parents we need to spend quality time with them and also follow the same rules we are teaching them if we want them to listen to us.

It is said that words make the greatest impact. Using simple phrases can help  gain our child’s obedience and this will enable us to teach those good habits and values they must know. Here is a list of things we can tell our children every day.

What will you tell your child every day?

It is important that our children learn basic etiquette and habits before he or she attends pre-school. This will make our children smart and confident enough to strike up a conversation with others! A child’s social and emotional development is as important as their physical development . So as a parent we  have to know the factors that affect their social and emotional development and teach them the required skills. 

1. “I love you.”

You can start your day by saying this to your kid or you can plant a kiss on their little cheeks to show affection. This phrase might mean three simple words to you, but for your child it means a lot! Your affection reassures her or him.

2. “How was your day?”

As a parent, it is important that you show interest in their daily activities. Suppose you have sent your child to a daycare center while you work; after coming back home, the first thing you should ask is, “How was your day?” It is always great to hear their little anecdotes!

3. “Say please.”

If you want your child to have good manners, teach them to say “please” before they place a request.

4. “Thank you” & “you’re welcome.”

If you want your child to have impeccable manners, you have to teach the importance of saying thank you and you’re welcome. Suppose your child receives a gift on his birthday and starts tearing the wrapping paper in excitement without saying a thank you to the person who gave the gift. Don’t shy away from saying “shouldn’t you say thank you?” in public. This may embarrass your child a bit, but it will make him more aware.

5. “Never give up.”

When the child grows up, he has to join the rat race, so why not teach him how to take on challenges from childhood? Teach your child the importance of perseverance and patience when it comes to reaching their goals. You can also play puzzles and other brain games ; this will not only help to keep the child’s mind agile, it will also teach the child to take up challenges.

6. “You win.”

An encouraging word always boosts confidence. If your child has won a race or completed a puzzle or game successfully, always say “you win.” This will give the child a taste of success and what it means to become a winner.

7. “Text me when you get there.”

As parents, you are always worried about your child’s safety, and why not? After all, they are your little treasure. It is a good idea to give them mobile phones  to save yourself from a heart attack ! Always tell them to text you “I’m here” once they reach their destination. This gives you some peace of mind.

However, keep a tab on how your child is using the mobile phone. Your child is still immature and needs guidance, so keep checking their contact lists and messages without interfering too much. It is important to show that you care about their privacy.

8. “It’s your choice.”

As your child grows up, you have to teach them to make their own decisions and handle their own responsibilities. This will help to build their confidence, so say “it’s your choice” when you want them to make a call on something.

9. “How are your friends?”

Always try to know your child’s friend circle. Know the names of their friends. It is said that the company a person chooses can make or break him. This is true, so keep a tab on the kind of friends your child selects. Your child may pick up both good and bad habits from their friends because they tend to emulate others, so correct their bad habits first. You can also arrange for parties at home and invite your child’s friends to play team building activities. Your child will simply love this!

10. “Don’t waste food.”

Children want to eat what they like. Often due to peer influence, they demand junk food. As a parent you have to be strict if your child wastes food; you have to rebuke them. It is a challenging task to make healthy foods tasty on daily basis.

You can probably prepare some healthy and tasty nibbles for them. You can inculcate healthy food habits in your child by repeating phrases, like “eat everything on your plate,” “don’t waste food,” “you have to eat everything if you want to become like Popeye the sailor man!”

11. “Tell the truth.”

Teach your child the value of honesty. Children tend to hide things from their parents since they are afraid of being scolded. You have to coax them to tell the truth always and teach them why it is important. This will make your child open up their secrets more easily.

In addition to these other phrases, you can also say something like “you are always on my mind” to show your affection. You can also say “love and respect others” to teach them to empathetic. Always boost their self-esteem and confidence by telling them they are beautiful and intelligent. 

Hope you enjoyed the read!

Happy parenting!

Christina

    Article by: Surela Mukherjee Mukherjee:11 Things Every Parent Should Tell Their Child Everyday: http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/11-things-every-

11 Things Every Parent Should Tell Their Child Everyday: http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/11-things-every-parent-should-tell-their-kids-every-day.html

Raising Kids With The Wisdom of God Series. Message #1

 How well do you know each of your children?

Message #1: LOVE AND UNDERSTAND YOUR CHILD


When we look at God’s fatherly care for his children, three important truths come to our attention.

1. God listens to his children. We who are parents should listen carefully to our children. Often we do not give our children the attention they need. We are tired. We are busy. We are angry. Our children want to talk to us but we say things like, “Can’t you see I’m busy?” or “Not now. Ask me later.” We treat their needs and questions as unimportant. This is not how God treats his children. The Bible tells us we may always approach God in prayer. Like a loving father, he listens to our prayers. Here is what the Bible says: 
Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about what happens to you. 1 Peter 5:7, NLT

I love the LORD because he hears and answers my prayers. Because he bends down and listens, I will pray as long as I have breath! Psalm 116:1-2, NLT

God takes time to listen to us, his children. He is not too busy to stop and pay attention to our words. If we want to love our children as God loves them, we need to give them our time and attention.

 2. God understands his children. We who are parents should try to understand our children. An important part of paying attention to our children is understanding each of them. The Bible says that God, our heavenly Father, knows each of us very well. He knows what we are like, and he knows our needs. Here is what the Bible says about God’s understanding of us:

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—and how well know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. Psalm 139:13-16, NLT

God made each of our children unique (one-of-a-kind). The way we raise each child will be different because each of them have different temperaments** and personalities:
• One child may be very active; another may be peaceful.
• One may be easily distracted; another can pay attention longer.
 • One may have loud, expressive responses; another may be quiet.
• One may have difficulty adapting to new situations; another may adapt quickly.
• One may be persistent and stubborn; another may become discouraged easily.
• One may be positive and cheerful; another may be negative and quick to complain.

We can’t change the different temperaments of our children. But we can understand how God made each of them different. The better we understand them, the better we will be able to predict their behavior and guide them to to control their temperaments and use them for good. Mothers and fathers, how well do you know each of your children? Don’t treat your children as if they were alike. Don’t try to force one child to become more like another child. Appreciate the special way God made each of your children. Help each of them to become the person God intends them to be. Love them for who they are. In this way, you will be more like God, who understands and loves each of us.

Click Link to watch my Video :https://www.facebook.com/ekale.christina/videos/944291058986316/                                
                             God Bless You.
                                   Christina
           
      Raising Kids With The Wisdom Of God Series

If you have comments or would like to contact me, feel free to leave a comment or  e-mail me at: christinaewanga@gmail.com 

Raising Kids with the Wisdom of God Series.

Being a mother or a father is a large responsibility. It can be an overwhelming and intimidating challenge! God has given us the responsibility for the care and nurture of another person. This person depends on us for everything when he or she is born. And our responsibility lasts a lifetime. And even though the responsibility of raising a child is a great one, many people have very little training or preparation for it. Babies do not come with an instruction booklet that tells us how to be good parents! A big task, little preparation. Isn’t that strange? The Bible gives us many detailed instructions about raising children. The Bible tells us that God is the Father of everyone who believes in Jesus.So we can see what a good parent looks like by seeing how God acts as a parent. When we look at God’s fatherly care for his children, three important truths come to our attention....Join us this weekend as we expand on this truth :Raising Kids with the Wisdom of God.



God Bless You.
Christina

If you have comments or would like to contact me, feel free to e-mail me at: christinaewanga@gmail.com

Raising Children with the Wisdom of God Series.

Being a mother or a father is a large responsibility. It can be an overwhelming and intimidating challenge! God has given us the responsibility for the care and nurture of another person. This person depends on us for everything when he or she is born. And our responsibility lasts a lifetime.......Follow this series by Christina Ewanga E on her blog:christinaewanga.blogspot.com:

We will be expanding on these subjects:

Message 1: Love and Understand Your Child/Children.
Message 2: Discipline that Heals, Not Harms.
Message 3: What Every Parent Needs (keys of raising Godly Children)
God Bless You.
Christina.